Count on It

I’m writing this post from my hotel room in Denver. I am genuinely surprised that I am here. I have submitted presentation proposals countless times for a variety of conferences, and I’ve been denied more times than I can count. So many times, in fact, that I am desensitized to it. I count on it. I count on being denied, and I keep going.

So, when my proposal was accepted in February, it was such a fun surprise. This is my first time attending #ISTELive, and I’m genuinely enjoying the learning and the people.

As for my session, there is always room for growth. I counted on not having a large crowd in my session, and I did not have a large crowd. I counted on being nervous and uncomfortable and having a “new kid on the block feeling” and I have that feeling. Big time.

I told myself going into this that I was just going to embrace discomfort. And whether 2, 10, or 100 people attended my session, I was going to be grateful for our time together. And I genuinely feel grateful.

I think too often we think the world owes us something. However, I think the more we focus on doing the right work for the right reasons, the better we feel. The world doesn’t owe us anything. Other people don’t owe us anything. We are the ones who owe it to ourselves to continue to do the work. To do the work we believe in. To focus less on any type of accolades or credit and more on the work itself and what we are learning from it.

If there is anything I’m learning to count on at the end of the day, its obstacles. But the great news is we can also count on ourselves.

Whether anyone reads these blog posts or not, I’m writing every week. I have the stamina to write every week because I write to learn and reflect upon my learning. I don’t need likes or re-posts although those are nice. It’s the learning process itself that is the win. And that’s what I count on at the end of the day.

I do presentations because I care so deeply about this profession and the future of learning in our schools that even if one person leaves inspired and equipped with a mosquito move then it was time well-spent. I get immensely insecure and nervous for these presentations, but this is why I push through. And every time, I count on learning, growing, and evolving. And I do.

So, I’m counting on nothing but obstacles and the beautiful resilience and growth that comes from staying the course. I trust the process.

Whatever you have in your heart to contribute to this life, this one beautiful life, I hope you fall in love with the process of learning and growing.

Maybe if we learn to count on ourselves, realizing that we are more than enough, and we have what we need, maybe we will find peace and fulfillment.

Maybe.