Hope is THE Strategy

I guess I’m glad I didn’t know.

I recently uncovered that I have an ACE score of 7/10. ACE stands for adverse childhood experiences, and the more of these experiences we have as a child, the higher the risk for various challenges in life.

This is helpful information to have as an adult because it allows me to understand myself and my responses more deeply. It also allows me to be a bit more gentle with myself. While I’m certainly not making excuses, it allows me to love myself through the process of growing and evolving. Most days. Some days are harder than others.

But I think this would have been difficult information to have as a child. To know that statistically, there were multiple cards stacked against me. As a kid, I can remember overhearing a conversation between a couple of adults when I was supposed to be asleep in the other room. I was spending the night with a babysitter and her family, and she was explaining to them that my dad had passed away from Leukemia. With concern in his voice her dad said, “I hope it doesn’t get passed down to the kids.” It was the first time I had ever heard any mention that I could get cancer too or that since my dad had cancer, I might be more likely to get cancer.

I would rather not get into some of my other ACE’s in this post, but I think perhaps it is best that I didn’t know that I was at higher risk for illness and other challenges due to these experiences. Trauma alone is hard. Surviving trauma is hard.

And what many of need when we are going through difficult times are conversations of hope.

Quite simply, hope is the belief that tomorrow can be better than today, and we are the ones who can make it so. I first learned about the science of hope from expert and speaker, Jamie Meade. I was so inspired by Jamie, her words, and her study of hope, that I mention it in Legacy of Learning.

Hope: the belief that tomorrow can be better than today. And we are the ones who can make it so.

Reflecting upon my childhood, I used to think that I leveraged competitive dance as an escape from my problems at home. Dancing six days a week and often 3-4 hours a night on school nights, I’m sure there was some escapism there. But the more I learn about hope, the more I realize that dance gave me hope. I had something that I loved. Something I was good at. And I got to do that something day after day after day. Not only did I love it, I felt loved by the people at my studio. My fellow teammates and my dance instructors made me feel loved and appreciated not just for my ability but for being my authentic self. I also saw that I was improving as a technician and performer. The work I was putting into my craft was growing my talent and ability. Something about that was life-giving. And for most of my childhood, people encouraged me to study dance in college. My instructors, some of whom had danced professionally, would tell me about how “to make it” one day.

I had goals, the will, and a path forward.

That’s essentially the science of hope.

And while I clearly chose a career in education and hung up my tap shoes, that hope may have quite literally saved my life. I spent an insane amount of time doing what I loved, growing my skills, fueling my joy and that of others through performances. And I did so on a team. I got to make magic by being in sync with others. In rehearsals, on and off stage, we had each other. We really had each other.

That sense of community and time spent doing and growing what we love, that’s collective hope.

And collective hope may have saved my life as kid.

There are people who say hope is not a strategy.

But I think, hope is THE strategy.

Goal. Will. Pathway.

How can you grow hope in yourself and others?