Vulnerability is Magic

Being new is well, it’s tough. In a lot of rooms, my title can create a barrier to connection if I’m not thoughtful with my interactions. I’ve said in more than one room and more than one time, “Like the Barbie movie, ‘I’m just Ken’…I’m just Meghan.”

Titles don’t make people important. Our titles should be an indication of how much we value others. As I say in Legacy of Learning, “It’s the way you show up, treat others, and do the work that gives you long-lasting influence. Not your title.”

If I’ve learned anything, it’s the importance of vulnerability. Vulnerability is one important component of trust. There are other components. Doing what we say we will do. Having our actions match our words. Ensuring our actions match our values.

But authentic vulnerability is magic. It really is. A few weeks ago, I was leading a committee meeting. It’s a weird feeling being new and leading a pre-existing committee with members who have been around for a long time. Hi, I’m new, let me show you the way…yeah no. Even when I’m not new, I know that the best work comes from the team not just one person. So, we did a good amount of orienting to the work and to each other.

We spent time in what authors of Otherful, Mike Kleba and Ryan O’Hara call FIRE. Conversations around fears, interests, responsibilities, and experiences.

During this meeting, we connected in small groups around FIRE. We wrote for ourselves first and reflected upon what we might feel comfortable self-disclosing in a small group.

We laughed together. We cried together. Some hugged.

And we realized we had more in common than we had previously thought. In these moments, we weren’t our titles. We weren’t our work. We were human beings.

One of the teachers opened up to me about some of her experiences this school year, and I wanted to hear more. So, I asked if I could come to her classroom sometime and bring her a coffee of her choosing. This past week we connected, and I grateful for her trust in me as she generously shared in more detail.

I left wondering if she would be able to sense how much I care about her, her work, and her experiences.

And then two days later, I got an email from another teacher who I’ve never gotten to talk to beyond a brief introduction. She said she heard about my chat with that teacher and wondered if I might be willing to meet with her next.

YES.

I’m sharing this because this is the work. This is the work of leadership. Seeing people, listening, learning, and way-finding. Somewhere in all of this listening there are patterns and possibilities if we are willing to be truly curious and open. We don’t always agree upon solutions or paths forward, but our plans must be deeply informed and inspired by the voices of those working most closely with our students every day and our students themselves.

We can’t be good at everything. We can’t care about everything at one time.

But we can be good listeners. We can care about listening to others with genuine curiosity and with a bias toward action.

If nothing else this week, if you listened, you did the work. Don’t underestimate the power of good listening.

Talk less.

Listen more.

And bring your human to work.