For Those with Sunday Scaries

I saw a meme the other day that said, “If worrying doesn’t work, then why hasn’t anything I’ve worried about ever happened!”

That made me giggle. I think some of us come by worrying pretty honestly. Where are my eldest daughters?! Many of us are really good at worrying, anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and/or over-functioning. If some or all of that makes you feel seen, I’m sorry. I get it. It’s me. It’s so me that there is an entire chapter on perfectionism in Legacy of Learning.

But I want to narrow in on anxiety for a moment. I’ve been battling anxiety my entire life, but I find that starts to ramp up when someone or something I care deeply about becomes vulnerable in some way. I find myself playing out all of the possible ways it could go wrong and all of the possible ways I could prevent it from going wrong. When I’m in this spiral, I’m completely out of the present moment. I’m not hearing the person who is talking to me. I hear that there is a voice who is saying words, but I’m too busy running around in my mind palace trying to problem solve to tune in. If I’m eating food, I’m not tasting it. If I’m walking somewhere, I’m not feeling my feet on the ground, the sun on my back, and if there are birds chirping, I wouldn’t know it.

Anxiety and worry take us out of the present moment and place us into a fictional future that we see as fragile. I don’t often realize I’m worrying because I’m too preoccupied. I’m consumed by the messages I’m sending myself, messages that make me feel like the future is some kind of mission impossible puzzle to be solved, so I better stay on the case until I solve it.

I don’t have answers for us. Some of us benefit from therapy. Some of us benefit from setting timers where we set aside time to be anxious or even time to cry. Others need time away from their phones or time with friends who can ask questions tied to the present moment as a method of pulling them out of the spiral and into the now.

All I know is that awareness can help. Lately, when I’m worried and anxious, I try to focus on the next best step I can take. Something about that makes me feel empowered without getting overwhelmed.

Maybe we don’t know what a doctor’s visit will bring but scheduling the appointment is an action step and one that can bring us closer to answers.

Whatever is giving you the Sunday scaries tonight, find your action verb. Find your next best move to make and then try to find a little peace.

The world is passing us by as we worry about things that may never happen.