A Note for Beginners

I’m currently in transition between two school districts. This past week I spent the first part of the week with my current school district, and the last two days with my new team.

I’m leaving a district where I was an elementary principal, supported special projects as a consultant, and ultimately served as a Director of Secondary Teaching & Learning for the past three years. It is a bittersweet time for me as I meet amazing new people and mourn the comfort and belonging that comes with five total years of cherished friendships.

One of my closest friends from my current school district sent me a thoughtful text to wish me a great day with my new team. I shared how wonderful everyone is and how much I missed that comfort and belonging. You know, the kind of comfort and belonging that comes from sustained time together, working on the work, and doing hard things together.

And while I won’t disclose exactly what she wrote in her reply, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

We can’t expect our first day to feel like our last day. We can’t compare our first day in anything to the middle or end of something else. It’s not fair to put that kind of expectation on ourselves.

In order to be good at anything, we have to first be willing to be a beginner. Any person who has accomplished anything in this world had a first day.

So, if you find yourself in transition this summer, I thought I would write a few other reminders because it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, insecure, and in a hurry quite frankly.

Relationships First, Always

Whether we are starting a new job or continuing in the same one, if we don’t have each other, we have nothing. No matter how good we get at the work or our systems, if our relationships aren’t strong, the work cannot reach its fullest potential. Proximity builds trust. Spend time listening to people, getting to know them, and be there to lend a helping hand. There is no job too small. If we are going to do hard things together, we have to know we have each other. That we really have each other.

Listen and Learn

Every organization, school, and district has its own culture. It’s important that we understand that culture, so we can more deeply understand the people, the systems, and why things are the way they are rather than rushing to implement changes or something new. Ask questions and then clarifying questions and take the time to reflect on the connections or patterns you notice. I love asking people for advice who have been inside of a system longer than I have. I received some thoughtful responses to that question this week.

Be Genuine

Much of the advice I received included “be yourself.” We all want to start off on the right foot and show up as our best selves. It’s important to do so. There is a difference between starting off on a positive note and being disingenuous. As I mention in Legacy of Learning, I once hired a job coach because I lacked clarity about what I wanted for my future. We worked through various patterns in my thinking and my work – one of which was perfectionism. She explained, “Meghan, people don’t like perfect people.” I’ll never forget it. As a recovering people-pleaser, that really hit home for me. There are no perfect people, and when only show the shiny, seemingly perfect side of ourselves, we make it seem like leadership or education is something that only perfect people do. This leaves no one to do this work in the present or future. We don’t have to show the very worst of ourselves or walk around with our hands in air like a frazzled mess. But we do need to simply be human. Deeply human. And we need to honor the humanity of others. We need to model what it looks like to be a learner, to make mistakes, and learn from them.

All of that being said, there will be moments when we need to take a little advice from Taylor Swift, “‘Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it’ and I did.” We will do things that make us uncomfy and be in new situations that feel uncomfortable because this is how we grow. Many of us will smile when we are scared on the first day of school because our students are scared too. When I’m on a turbulent flight, my flight anxiety kicks in, and what do I do? I look at the flight attendants to make sure they aren’t panicked. Sometimes, this is what the job requires of us.

So, I’m sending big hugs to all of you who are in your transition era this summer. Remember that there are good people everywhere.

Find the people who make you feel calm and capable and stay close to them. You’ve got this.