Let’s Be Sunflowers

It’s the time of year when big beautiful sunflowers grow and glow.

I can still remember the day I walked into an elementary school to serve as an interim principal. It was early October. I had never met the staff and had never been inside the building. In fact, one week prior, I was busy in my role as coordinator/consultant at an educational service center. Little did I know that my life was going to dramatically change in more ways than one. On that crisp October morning, the HR director who I had not previously met, welcomed me with bagels in the media center. He encouraged the staff to come down and meet me. He handed me a walkie, a district cell phone, and told me to call him if I needed anything. Then he walked out the door.

And just like that, I was the principal. I felt like an imposter. I had no idea what I was doing. Every part of this felt new to me. Having taught high school and middle school and having served as a middle school AP, elementary was a brand new adventure.

And it turned out to be one of the most beautiful and challenging experiences of my life. One that would change me forever.

Because of the people. The staff. The students. The families. The love of this school community. It changed me.

And in the spring of that school year, Covid rocked the world. And while I won’t go into the details of all of that in this post, I remember struggling to know what to do yet again. The ways I had previously shown love and support had to change, but the love was still there. Then one day, I stumbled into a metaphor about sunflowers, learning that when sunflowers can’t find the sun, they turn to each other for energy.

Sunflowers became our symbol of hope. A signal that when the days were hard…and they were every day, we could make it through because we had each other. I remember giving every staff member a handwritten note, explaining what I appreciated about each of them at the end of that school year. Enclosed they found a pack of sunflower seeds. I’ve never forgotten them or the sunflowers. To this day, when I run into staff members from that beautiful elementary school, they often tell me that when they see a sunflower, they think of me. It’s deeply humbling and makes me choke up every time.

I’m now serving as an assistant superintendent. And this past week I was leading our first principal meeting of the school year. I found myself second guessing my plans. Second guessing how I wanted to show up for them. I work hard to create experiences that are both meaningful and productive while also being relational and if possible, joyful.

If you’ve read Legacy of Learning, you know that I like to plan meetings as if I’m hosting a dinner party for close friends. This is a strategy that I learned from Elena Aguilar in The Art of Coaching Teams. But as I was planning and gathering materials, there was a little whisper telling me that busy principals don’t have time for storytelling and community-building. And that the stress of their day would not allow them to appreciate the fresh cut sunflowers nestled in mason jars or the little pots of sunflower seeds that I placed on the books we were giving them, adorned with carefully tied yellow ribbon.

But then I remembered what a leader recently said to me. When I asked what advice they had for me as someone who is new to my role and the district, they said, “Be yourself. You are exactly what we need.”

It was a generous statement and one that stuck with me. I turned my memory to that comment much like sunflowers turn to each other, and it gave me the confidence I needed to be my authentic self in that meeting.

I’m so relieved to be able to share that the meeting went well, and I received genuine, specific, and encouraging feedback about it. High levels of connection and meaningful work too. At the end of the meeting, I encouraged everyone to take a mason jar of flowers with them. I encouraged them to give the flowers to someone who really needed them. My hope was that our joy from that morning might spread to others…through others.

I was conversing with a parent at the football game last Friday night. He was telling me about how they had sunflowers in their yard and said I was welcome to drive by anytime and cut some for myself. Incredibly generous and while I didn’t take him up on it, I did explain what I had learned about sunflowers turning to each other for energy when they can’t find the sun. He said, “Yes, they also turn toward the sun when they can find it.”

I needed time to understand the meaning of this. For many days, I sat with it. I finally concluded that maybe it was just an interesting fact about sunflowers.

But I get it now.

Let’s not forget to acknowledge the good. Not only the good around us but the good within us too. And trust what we know is right and true in our hearts.

Let’s be sunflowers.

For others.

And for ourselves too.