Eyes on the Mission

There are certain things that are out of our control. Whether we perceive ourselves to be “controlling” or not, it’s human nature to want to control. There are times when we want to control an outcome, control what people think of us, or control a situation. But as Mel Robbins says in her recent book, Let Them, the only thing we really have control over in the end is ourselves.

I recently visited New Orleans for a conference. I met a lovely local woman at a networking event who had a pretty solid read on me upon just meeting for a few minutes. She essentially told me, “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You spend most of your thought-life thinking about work, and if you don’t stop trying to prove yourself, and you don’t stop trying to earn that external validation that is never coming, you’re going to implode.”

The word implode scared me a little. That’s a big word. Implode in what way? In a shave my head Britney Spears kind of way? Implode in a flip the table Real Housewives kind of way?

Whatever she meant, ironically, within the next week, I came down with strep throat and an upper respiratory infection. This is ironic because I hardly ever get the sniffles let alone something requiring an antibiotic. The timing of this felt like it meant something.

Forced to stay home at the end of last week, some might say that I imploded.

There is some controversy over where the Let Them Theory originated and while I’m not here to start a debate on that, I do want to give credit where it’s due. In 2022, Cassie Phillips wrote the “Let Them” poem which went viral on Tik Tok and led to many embracing this concept. Some felt it so deeply that they even got tattoos of this empowering message.

One line from the poem that really sticks with me, “If they want to judge or misunderstand you, let them.”

Many of us as educators and educational leaders struggle with this. Because negative perceptions can lead to discrediting and a lack of influence or trust which in turn can make it challenging to make a positive difference.

But here is what WE need to trust. We being those who are genuinely here for the right reasons. We being those who are not here for power or prestige. We being those who simply want to make a positive impact.

We need to trust ourselves and our intentions.

All we can do is all we can do. And if we are doing work we believe in for the right reasons, and if we are approaching each conversation, interaction, and meeting with genuine intentions, then that’s all we can do. And that is more than enough.

I have to believe at the end of the day that what is right and true will be brought to light. Some may choose not to see it. Some may never see it. But that’s not the mission.

Our mission is not to control others. Our mission is not to control the opinions of others.

Our mission to take great care of people while taking great care of the work.

Our mission to create the conditions that make growth, learning, and healing possible.

And our mission is to never stop cultivating these conditions.

Perhaps the biggest mission of all is to do this for ourselves first. To grow, learn, and heal ourselves and then do what we can to make this accessible to others.

That’s the mission. The mission is not self-preservation. The mission is not to change how others perceive us. The mission is not to look good to other people.

Because do you know what looks really good on all of us? Loving ourselves and others through the process of growing and evolving.

People are going to think what they are going to think. Let them.

But don’t let yourself take your eyes and your effort off the real mission.

I don’t talk about my book at work. When I’m at work, I’m there for the work and for the people. But this past week, I happened to see Legacy of Learning on a coworker’s desk. Not just on her desk but on her desk with little neon tabs popping out of the pages she wanted to revisit. Another coworker went out of her way to say she recommended the book to a colleague who was struggling with letting work take up too much of her life and thought life. When I first heard this, I felt like an imposter because I am also struggling.

But then I remembered the sentiment of the book. It’s not that I have it all figured out. It’s that I’m willing to do my figuring out in front of other people. That’s true in my work. It’s true in my writing. It’s true on this blog.

I wrote a book that I needed. I write blog posts that I need every week too.

So to those of you who keep showing up to watch me imperfectly navigate our shared mission, I’m so grateful for you and for our shared humanity.

The mission in me celebrates the mission in you.

Keep going. A better world is built by the people who keep trying with open hearts and minds despite it all.

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