We are about to ring in another year, and it brings me mixed emotions. I used to be big on New Year’s resolutions. I would go hard on a new goal for a week, maybe two, and it would quickly become apparent that I couldn’t keep up with the intensity.
It’s not that I don’t reflect or even set goals now, but I find that I thrive when goals are more manageable, realistic, and focused on forming a small new habit versus major daily changes.
This self-awareness in and of itself is progress. I also used to have grandiose ideas for what New Year’s Eve should look like. But the older I get, the less I yearn for a fancy dinner and sequin dress and the more content I seem to be on my couch, wearing my favorite pajamas while a cat sleeps in my lap. Don’t get me wrong. I love getting dolled up and hitting the town, but I don’t need to be assigned a night of the year to do it. I can pretty much do that whenever I choose. That’s the beauty of free will.
With this new year comes a sense of grounding. Our family went through a lot in the span of a year, and those challenges were perspective-giving. I’m less interested in how my life or my work looks to other people, and I’m more interested in how it feels to me. I cherish every minute spent with my mom or at home with my husband and cats. As I spend time being more present, the hard emotions are more real too. The emotions that I usually compartmentalize seem to creep to the forefront. I worry about losing those closest to me and have started to worry about how sad aging will be. Not sad from the standpoint that I will look older though I don’t love that either…ha, but sad that I will lose people that I love. As someone without kids, I start to worry about dying alone myself.
I don’t mean to be morbid in this post. I’m simply sharing so that if the holidays bring you mixed emotions, you know that you are not alone. I think it’s normal for momentous occasions or changes in seasons or calendar years to remind us that we can control many things, but we cannot stop time. We also cannot slow time down, but we can control how we choose to spend the time we have.
As I say in Legacy of Learning, we can be ridiculously in charge of our decisions. We can choose to focus our time, energy, and thoughts on what matters and let go of the rest.
If there is any resolution worth considering, let’s start being ridiculously in charge of our time. Too much of our time is spent being bothered. Bothered by what people say and do. Bothered by many things that don’t actually matter or won’t 5 years from now.
May you find yourself less bothered in 2026 and more fully present in your one beautiful life.
MEGHAN LAWSON 
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