Tend to Your Loops

I was recently explaining to my mom how algorithms work on social media. She had clicked on something about the dangers surrounding women and Uber drivers. While I think staying aware is very important, a steady diet of fear posts can start to make you worry that the world has turned completely bad out there.

I’m no social media or tech expert, but I do know that the more you click on something, the more things like that social media will feed you unless you ask it to stop.

This got me thinking about how it would be beneficial if we could program our brains in the same way when something isn’t serving us well. “No more of these insecure thoughts, please.” “No more overthinking that professional relationship, that meeting, or that decision, please.”

While we can’t completely reprogram our brains in this way, we can certainly become more aware and train ourselves to respond differently.

During my keynotes, I often share that the average person hears at least roughly 20,000 words in a day, so imagine how many thoughts we are consuming without realizing it. We are learning to be better consumers of external messaging and yet, how often do we carefully examine our internal dialogue?

Over the past few months, my internal dialogue has reached new levels of unhelpful. I’ve been learning to ask myself, “Is that a fact or is it a feeling?” I’m not trying to minimize my feelings rather acknowledge that they are just that – feelings. Not facts. And feelings like passengers can ride with us for awhile until we are ready to release them.

This time of year in education is hard to articulate with words. We are exhausted, crispy around the edges, and yet we are often varying degrees of sentimental. Some of us are sad to say bye to one of the best classes of students ever had. Some of us are retiring or saying bye to those retiring, and those bonds are strong and meaningful. Others may be transitioning between jobs, excited to start a new adventure but sad to walk away from people who mean a lot to them.

Whatever your season during the end of this school year, allow your feelings to be passengers. They can stay as long as you want or need them to as long as you acknowledge that your feelings are not facts, and you won’t be feeling this way or this intensely forever.

For those embarking on the last days of school, it’s ok to feel like a walking contradiction…ready for time away and yet sad to let go of some of it. And if you aren’t sad at all, that’s ok too. Feel what you need to feel.

Just allow yourself a clearer awareness of your loops. The only way out is through, and the way through it starts with acknowledgment.